I grew up in a small, racist town, hating school
cause it didn’t seem fair. My home life was abusive. I got picked on at
school, but it felt like I was the one who always got in trouble. I
started using drugs and alcohol and got kicked out of mainstream high
school in 9th grade. Then I went to treatment and figured
some stuff out. I relapsed and was sent to a correctional facility. When
I got out I started going to an alternative school with special
services. I was always in trouble of some sort – it kind of set me back.
I had a daughter when I was 17 and she was adopted
(not by choice). That took a toll on me. I struggled with school, didn’t
go much, dropped out, got kicked out, but then came back to push through
to the end. After graduating, I lived in a hotel for 9 months – life was
just grueling. Then I got out of the motel, got a job, and quit drinking
due to the deaths of multiple friends. I got sick and tired of being
sick and tired. I am working on paying off my debt and living with my
girlfriend and 3 cats. I get around on foot, a bike or try catch a ride
when I could.
My accomplishments and what I am proud of are that
I made it through and graduated from high school and surviving on my own
(with some help). I am proud of what I am, what I have become, proud of
all the good things I did in school like getting involved in the
community and doing leadership projects. Even after all I have been
through, I want to do something right and good.
Almost everything we did in leadership and the
community was good for me – people we met, connections we made, being
able to help others. If youth get involved in these things, it might
help people to really see the inside of the person and not just judge
us, only seeing the funk, the negative, cause even though we are
different on the outside, we are all the same on the inside.
My mom was a giant influence; she would listen to
my side of the story and then help me understand things. She also went
to bat for me. My girlfriend has been supportive and Maure Ann is too.
People that know me think I am a hoodlum – that feels like ignorance to
me. All I really want to do is make people happy and do something right.
Take the time to get to know students and go out
into the community. Helping people is like going to church – it makes
you feel good on the inside, like I made a difference.
Casey ~
Since preschool I have been in special education my
whole life. I got in trouble with the cops in fifth grade because I ran
away from school. My teacher was mean to me. I got kicked out of class a
lot and had to go to the support room. In sixth grade, I also got in a
lot of trouble. I would do a lot of things that friends told me to do. A
teacher actually dragged me out of the room. It was frustrating.
Seventh grade went great, I loved my teacher, but
then she moved away so eighth grade became difficult. They made me
change schools. I became popular in the new school and that helped a
lot. In ninth grade my grades were low and I was harassed. I was down in
the principal’s office a lot for things like having my coat on. People
were spitting on me after I got off the bus. I talked to the cop and
they got in trouble. I was sent to another special education program and
school shortly after I “came out”. It felt like my school didn’t want to
deal with it.
I didn’t want to go to the new school so I left the
first meeting and walked home in the rain. In tenth grade, while at the
new school, I started using drugs big time. I didn’t feel like I was
given a chance. It was more like they were pushing me – it made me not
want to do anything. I was really feeling down. I got sent to a juvenile
facility for not going to school. During tenth grade, I also found out
that I had the right to speak out about my sexuality.
I had a teacher that wanted me to be in leadership
class which I didn’t do until eleventh grade. It turned out to be my
best year cause the teachers were leading me, not pushing me. They were
working with me, trying to get me to graduate. I also got into my career
of cosmetology which I love!
Starting leadership helped me a lot, it helped me
to speak to people and meet a lot of people. It helped my confidence. I
never thought I would stand up in front of people and talk. I was
shocked because I was a very shy person. When I go out to present and
adults come up to me afterwards that feels like a big accomplishment. It
makes me feel good about myself.
Some of the things I am proud of are emceeing a
Peace Concert that my leadership class put on. I am very proud of myself
that I can stand up for what’s right and what I believe in. I can make a
difference just being myself! Being in leadership and having teachers
that supported me made school easier for me – I even made the “B” honor
roll!! Before, I only ever got C’s, D’s and F’s. My goal is to graduate
from high school and go to Cosmetology school.
I would like to say to people, “Follow your dreams.
Don’t let anyone push you down.”
Lorenzo ~
I grew up in the Midwest as a little kid trying to
be like other little kids. When I hit fourth grade my whole life
changed. The biggest reason was that my father walked out on me. Another
big test for me was in sixth grade. I started facing a lot of
discrimination based on my race and the way I looked. That led to my
first fight which led to many more fights in seventh, eighth and ninth
grade which ended up with the court system putting me on probation. I
was dealing with the law after that - getting arrested for racial
fighting in school and the community. People were calling me a spic, a
wetback, a beaner and telling me to go back to my own country.
School was a drag, my grades were bad and credits
were not getting done. Coming to a new school was a turning point for me
in my sophomore year. It was a wake-up call knowing that if I didn’t get
my act together I wouldn’t fulfill my goal of graduating and going on to
college. The first day of first grade, I said to myself, “I’m going to
graduate, I’m going to school and nobody’s going to stop me.”
My mom and sisters were also telling me, “you’re
not a kid anymore, if you don’t turn it around, you are going to be
another statistic of a Mexican male.” I want to make my mom proud. She
is a single mom and she has done the hardest thing, raising four kids
and one being a male. She did good – I am proud of her!
In my sophomore year, my grades started getting
better, my behavior got better and I only had one slip-up, a fight at
the end of the year. I am proud of getting good grades and making the B
honor roll, being a role model for my nieces and nephews and getting
straight with school. I am also proud of a big service learning project
my class did on human trafficking. We won a state award which really
surprised me. I am also proud of representing my school to the man in
charge of service learning from Washington D.C. Another thing was that I
was chosen to represent our district and the youth of the city at the
Chamber of Commerce in our town.
My mom, my three sisters and my brother-in-laws all
helped me a lot to get to where I am. They had the hardship of raising a
male and they were really supportive. My goal is to graduate and go to
college for marketing.
I would say to people to do something new, you
never know, it might wake you up and change your life forever. Don’t be
scared to try new things!
Cal
~
At age 11 my favorite aunt died and I
went into a deep depression. I really missed her cause she was like my
mom. Shortly after that I started partying. I got into drinking and then
eventually into inhalants. I was in a lot of car accidents due to other
people using and driving. I got my girlfriend into using inhalants and
she got into an accident and broke her legs.
I continued to use for a little bit
after that. But then I started getting bad headaches, started fainting,
having memory loss, falling down, throwing up, peeing on myself and I
got a couple tattoos I didn’t know about. I even OD’d in class once on
painkillers. I finally decided I didn’t like being out of control
anymore so I quit about four years ago. I quit on my own, without a
program or anything and haven’t used inhalants since then. I still get
sick from the fumes when I go pump gas for my car. I still have some of
the other side effects too.
I didn’t like my home school because I
felt they had too many rules and I didn’t get along with the teachers.
I felt like I was being accused of things I didn’t do, I just didn’t
feel like I fit in anymore. They were going to expel me and I said I
wanted to go to an alternative school I had heard about in the area. So
I ended up going there for the rest of high school. The alternative
school was better for me because of the smaller class sizes and the
one-on-one. At my other school, I felt overwhelmed, discouraged and
bored so I would just act out. At the new school, I came to school, did
my work and never got in trouble.
I’m proud of all the projects we did
in the leadership class I was in at the new school. I liked the freedom
of going out in the community to help out and do our projects. I am also
proud of having a job, a car and living out on my own for my senior
year. I’m really proud I am graduating because I was planning to drop
out when I turned 18. Now I’m also trying to motivate my friend to go
back to school and get a degree.
My parents were supportive in whatever
choices I made. I felt supported by the teachers at my new school for
being understanding, Maure Ann for getting me involved in leadership and
the leadership group for picking me up on my bad days. (Maure Ann would
like to add that Cal was hugely his own champion, he would keep himself
going and going – doing school, a job, a car and life!! We are very
proud of what he has done for himself and the community).
My plans are to keep working full time
and go to a community college for my first two years for generals and
then transfer to a university for a more specific degree.
You can be in the deepest pit, but
there is always a way to get out, to move forward. You’re the one who
can decide where your life is going. So GO!!!!!!!!
Andrew
~
In ninth grade, the beginning of high
school, which is supposed to be the “greatest time of your life”, I hung
out with a group of friends notorious for getting in trouble. I aligned
with the “goth” culture and that led to the entire school not liking me.
The close-mindedness of a small town contributed to me being ostracized.
Feeling like an outcast led to depression, some cutting and suicide
attempts.
In my sophomore year, everything got
worse. Things escalated and went to greater levels. My friends had left
to go to other schools so I felt more alone. Issues at home didn’t help
make things better.
When I switched to an alternative
school in my junior year, I still maintained this image for a month and
then realized I didn’t have to. People reached out to me. I opened up
and felt that I didn’t have to keep this front up, that I could be me. I
opened up a lot – I used to be very shy. I got involved with leadership
and got to go out and tell my story. By seeing the reactions, I realized
that my experience at regular high school wasn’t normal.
When I told my story, it was a huge
self-realization of what I went through. I made it through all this
stuff! Around this time, I became more comfortable with coming out – it
helped me to open up even more. It was important for my voice to be able
to be heard. At regular high school, I was just a number. It felt like a
cattle farm, everyone coming and going.
My mom raised me saying that “you’re
special, you can do whatever you want” and yet when I was in mainstream
high school, the only way I stood out or was recognized was in a way
they wanted me to stand out – students with perfect grades, families,
etc. People who appeared to have a storybook life were recognized. When
I was goth or getting in trouble, I stood out, but not in a way they
were hoping for. At the alternative school, I felt like just by me being
there, I stood out. And being out in the community and doing leadership
things I wanted to do or believed in, I was able to be recognized.
When I was 19 I found out I had
another 6 months to a year left of school. I knew I could make it
outside of high school with a G.E.D., that I had the education I needed
and wanted to move on, so I left the alternative school. I had been
working in a bank full time and wanted to continue in the work force so
I went immediately to get my G.E.D. and passed it. I have been out
working for 1-1/2 years now. I had enrolled at a business school, but
transportation was an issue. I plan to reenroll as soon as I can move
closer to the college.
An accomplishment I am proud of is
that I got out of that silence! If I hadn’t come out of my shell, I
don’t know where I would be! Coming out of my shell led to everything of
where I am now.
I am proud of the presentations, the
chance to tell my story, to be listened to, to have a chance to hear my
own story and look back on what I did, who I became (and all the people
I was in the process). Throughout high school, no one listens; they
grade you and move on. You don’t get the feedback, the involvement,
enthusiasm and the interest that people show when you tell your story.
You feel like you matter, that people care about what you have been
through.
In the real world, they don’t want
someone that can just follow, do this, be this way. They want someone
that can step up, stand out and be able to bring what you are that makes
you different.
One of my sisters and my mom helped me
get through everything I went through. I knew my mom was there for me –
even when we didn’t get along, I knew she was there. And now we’re
really close.
All the teachers at the alternative
programs were great. Georgia was great – she helped me get to school
everyday. She wasn’t afraid to get to know students and recognize them
for their individuality and uniqueness. And Maure Ann for helping me to
get my story out there and do the things we do.
Through all the tough times, I kept
telling myself, it’ll get better, it can’t get worse. So don’t hold
back, do whatever you want.
